I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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