period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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