I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
