I wish I could punch you in the face.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
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