I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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