i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
