The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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