roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
where are you?
Hypothermia
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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