oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I hope mine doesn't look like that
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We got so high we made milksteak
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
