you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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