oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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