I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The air taste purple.
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