i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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