So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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