i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
