Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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