a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
