I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
