If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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