So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
