we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
