South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He kissed a someone with a penis
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
