now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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