then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
