It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she told me i tasted like america
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize