All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize