The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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