I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
