You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
