if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
