I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
