I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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