I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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