I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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