Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
