I bet he comes in French.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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