She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
