Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
