how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
