3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My vagina is officially offended.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
