I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
