Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
