Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
