If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
