you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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