I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
