my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
