how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
