ugly people sure do ruin things
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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