Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
