I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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