Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
