I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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