Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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