They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
