After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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