i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
