we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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