final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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