I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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