Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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